There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
