Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
