So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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