i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
