she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize