I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
