i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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