I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
