The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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