so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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