Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
