the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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