i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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