I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
false alarm, still single
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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