you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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