i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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