oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
