today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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