My balls are so social today.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
