You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
