I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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