I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
