Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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