at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize