What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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