Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
This show inspires me to have sex in space
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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