Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize