Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You're earring is so big in my mouth
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
