I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dignity is for republicans.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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