That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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