Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize