New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
