I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
