Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
