me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
