the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
