I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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