Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Come see our sink grown plant.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
