Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
4 words: hood of his car
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
