Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
