it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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