im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize