so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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