You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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