Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
