I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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