it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I want her autograph on my taint
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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