I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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