Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
