I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
