We named our party play list daddy issues
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
