he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
