the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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