I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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