I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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